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A pithy, “Because I’m too fabulous to settle.” A polite, “Because I’m waiting for God to bring me the right man.” A peppy, “Because there are still things I’m meant to accomplish as a single woman! And to give everything a more positive sheen in order to make ourselves feel better for the moment actually only harms us more in the long run. I’m not going to end this blog with some cheesy quote or self-help speech…and I’m not going to apologize for anything I’ve written here, either. Feel free to use the comments below to voice your own fears, share your story, agree, disagree, scream, yell, cry…whatever you need to do.
” But the truth is…sometimes I think the reason I’m still single is because I’m inherently flawed. I’m simply going to tell you that whatever your fears are about being single, you’re not alone.
I will hand them their share of the blame, but I’ll take my share, too. “You just need more makeup, a thigh gap, more self love! “You just need more faith,” the Christian world says judgmentally. Just not in the cards for me.) I want with every single fiber of my being to be one of those self-assured, confident, bold women of God who knows exactly who she is in Christ and walks in the freedom of knowing how loved she is, how precious she is, how validated she is. And that’s not to say we should walk around like Eeyore all the time, feeling sorry for ourselves and playing the victim of our lives. But neither should we walk around like Tigger all the time…springing when we feel like sighing. Not dodging it or covering it up or glossing over it to make it look prettier and more pleasing so you can prop it up in the corner and not have to deal with it.
And in doing that, my friends, I feel I have done you a disservice. It’s recently been called to my attention that I use positivity as a defense mechanism. That my humanity and my imperfections were a turnoff to him. I can’t blame all of my self doubts on men, though. That’s a refusal to take responsibility for my own life and choices and attitudes and self image, and I won’t do that. “You’re too ugly.” “You’re too fat.” “You have a gap in your teeth.” “You look old.” “You’ve done too many bad things in your life and you don’t deserve to ever find love.” “God has forgotten you.” “It’s so easy for everyone else and so difficult for you.” “You’re meant to wander the earth alone forever.” “You will always be on the outside, looking in.” And on and on and on, like a broken record. (But I don’t and doubt I will ever have a thigh gap. Part of being the heroine of your own life is accepting the bad with the good.